Stuck in Rhode Island

I love my home, and home for me has always been Rhode Island, despite the fact that I never actually lived in the state until my time at college. I grew up in Seekonk, MA, but I have always considered myself a Rhode Islander for various reasons. All of my extended family members lives in Rhode Island and have lived there all their lives. I was born in a hospital in Providence, and all of my doctors and dentists are in Rhode Island, as well as most of the jobs I have had. I know Aunt Carrie’s is the best place for clam cakes in Narragansett, and I look forward to passing the Big Blue Bug on the highway wearing a red Rudolph nose during the Christmas season. My first roller coaster ride was at Rocky Point and I learned the hard way that if you ask for coffee milk outside of the Ocean State, the waitress will not know what you mean

Unlike many of my friends upon graduating high school, I did not really want to go college far from home. When I made the decision to attend college in Providence, all of my friends were baffled. Why did I want to be stuck in Rhode Island? Didn’t I want to go to school in a bigger, more exciting city, like Boston or New York? Didn’t I want to get away from my parents? Didn’t I want to experience a new place?I felt as though I should want those things and used my scholarship as an excuse for wanting to go to Providence.

As I progressed through my years at PC, I realized that I am a homebody and I am not ashamed of it. I love travelling and have visited many amazing, and indeed more exciting, places, but I was never been overcome by any desire to stay there permanently. I know that sounds lame, but, as Dorothy so famously puts it, “There’s no place like home.”

My family has not exactly set much of a precedent for leaving Rhode Island over the years. All four of my grandparents grew up around Providence and stayed in Rhode Island after they were married. My mother grew up in Cranston and my father grew up East Providence. They both commuted to Providence College, which is where they met. I would not say my decision to also attend Providence College was inevitable, but I felt a certain sense of belonging when I envisioned myself at PC, something I did not feel when I pictured myself at other schools.

After looking at my family, it certainly seems as though at least one Rhode Island stereotype is true: Growing up in (or, in my case, around) the smallest state gives you a rather skewed sense of “far away.” Perhaps that’s why I have never been bothered by the fact that I attend college so close to home—the twenty minutes it takes to get back to Seekonk is, in the mind of a Rhode Islander, a fair distance. My parents' decision to reside in Seekonk still rankles my relatives in Warwick, who gripe about going all the way down to Seekonk any time we have a family party. While visiting a great aunt I had not seen in a while, she blamed the fact that we never see each  other on  my parents deciding to live on the other side of the world.

I am currently in the process of applying to graduate schools, and I am really trying to step outside of my box. All of the programs lie outside of Rhode Island. Many of them are actually far away, as in several hours away, not just by the Rhode Island definition. I realize that the day when I have to leave the Ocean State is fast approaching. Whether it will be for graduate school, a job offer, or something else, I can't say. Sometimes I wonder if my love for Rhode Island would have been different if I had not grown up so near to my extended family. Maybe if we were more spread out, I would not feel such an attachment to a home filled with terrible drivers and long, annoying winters, and might have been inclined to go somewhere new. Maybe if I were the youngest of my cousins and siblings instead of the oldest, and a brother or cousin had gone off to college in New York before me, perhaps I would have felt compelled to do something similar.

Do I love Rhode Island because it is Rhode Island or because it is my home and it is familiar to me? I cannot be sure. All I know is that I love being near the ocean, even if it is always too cold to swim in. I love being able to visit my family whenever I like, even if I have to deal with crazy drivers and bumper-to-bumper traffic to do so. I love to hate the weather, which never seems to correspond with the appropriate season, particularly when those errant snowstorms strike in the middle of April and kill my mother’s valiant spring flowers. The time may soon come when I am forced to put down roots elsewhere. Nevertheless, I am attached to Rhode Island, however illogically, and the separation will be difficult indeed.