Tangents and Tirades

An Unexpected Text. Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 @ 4:37 p.m. Subj: H1N1 Clinic. MSG: Students are reminded that an H1N1 Vaccination Clinic will be held next week on Tuesday February 16, 2010, from 9:00 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. in ’64 Hall, Slavin Center.
Sent: Saturday, February 13, 2010 @ 2:18 a.m. Subj: Swinme Cliniccc. MSG: CEOME TO THE SW’INE FLU SHOT CLI6NIC SO U DON’T GET SWIENE FLU AND DIEEE. ITS IN 64 HA4L 4ND ITS GONA B THE BESTT CLIMIC EVERRR!!!
Sent: Monday, February 15, 2010 @ 4:42 p.m. Subj: H1N1 Clinic. MSG: Students are further reminded that an H1N1 Vaccination Clinic will be held tomorrow, Tuesday February 16, 2010, from 9:00 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. in ’64 Hall, Slavin Center. Students are also reminded to disregard any and all text messages that I send while I’ve been drinking.
I guess even the automatic mass text system at PC isn’t immune to drunk texts.
— Chris Slavin ’12

Black-handed Compliment. Chris Matthews’ recent comment that he “forgot Obama was black” during the hour of the president’s State of the Union Address might have been meant as complimentary. The remark from the MSNBC talk show host, however, ought to raise several immediate concerns regarding our president’s race. Like much of the press, liberals often display an inability to see past our president’s skin color. As with Harry Reid’s (D-NV) racial remarks on the 2008 campaign trail, Matthews seems to view Obama as nothing more than a “light-skinned black man with no Negro dialect.” Perhaps Matthews’ point was that Obama did such a good job during the speech that he was surprised that a black man delivered it. Matthews’ level of expectations for African Americans should be a concern to all of us striving for a post-racial society. It is strange that such comments from Reid and Matthews have elicited little or no protest from the media. — Mark Scirocco ’10

The Split Decision. H.W. Fowler, last century’s English usage guru, observed that most Anglophones neither know nor care what a split infinitive is. An infinitive is, as Dave Barry writes, “the word to and whatever comes right behind it,” although his examples of “to a tee,”  “to the best of my ability,” and “tomato” are, of course, tongue-in-cheek. Whence the taboo on splitting? As David Foster Wallace notes, “Latin infinitives consist of one word and are impossible to as it were split, and the earliest English Prescriptivists—so enthralled with Latin that their English usage guides were actually written in Latin—decided that English infinitives shouldn’t be split either.” I cannot get on board with Wallace’s derision here; the logic of the pro-s.i. position sooner or later evinces the premise that anything one can do, one should do. While I try not to be an anti-split dogmatist, I was raised never to commit this once-grave solecism. My brother and I, in fact, use a referee-style hand signal to note its appearances. I advocate a general effort “to boldly go where no man has gone” for quite some time: into a realm of respect for tradition and the Latinate roots of our native tongue. — Jeremiah Begley ’10

Mission Accomplished. Growing up reading every book I could get my hands on, writing endless papers and critical analyses, and watching Rory Gilmore ascend from her position first as a staff writer and then as editor of The Yale Daily News, I always knew I wanted to write for my own college paper. I envisioned it perfectly—the corner desk with my desktop encasing all my articles, the staff hustling and bustling about the office, and midway through the week, the issue we had all worked long and hard on would be printed and distributed throughout campus for the hundreds of thousands of avid readers to pore over. The primary reason behind this drive to write for The Cowl was the hope that it would engage our college community and trigger points of discussion over the dinner table at Ray. In the beginning, I was a bit discouraged because it felt like our campus was prone to apathy when it came to certain issues, yet instead of students shying away from controversial and pertinent issues that affect our society, I have found that all our campus needs is a bit of a push. No matter what our views, we all want to voice them, as we should, for it is our privilege as college students and as writers. If anything, responses, both positive and negative, to any individual piece of work, always show signs of a student body willing to engage in a good debate, because who doesn’t love worthy opponents?
 — Viviana Garcia ’12

A Friendly Reminder. Just in time for Valentine’s Day—all you lovebirds, keep this in mind. It is frustrating losing a friend because her life is consumed by a relationship. We are in college and are not middle-aged married couples so it is perfectly acceptable to ditch the boy toy from time to time to go out with just the girls. Or vice versa, I am sure guys miss out on spending time with their friends because they have to cuddle with their needy girlfriends. You truly know that a relationship is unhealthy when the friends hate the person their friend is dating. This usually causes serious issues. Who do I choose? Bros before hoes or hoes before bros? Pick the friend. After all, the best mirror in this life is a good friend and they are usually right. Relationships are fleeting at our age and a good guy or girl is not one that puts constraints on your life. — Jenn DiPirro ’12