Tangents and Tirades

Mirror, Mirror, On Accinno. As an avid ambler, my biggest pedestrian challenge is Guzman Hill. There’s the obvious task of getting to the top, which is easier said than done, but attainable when I imagine a Baptist choir singing the Rocky theme song as I breath like Octomom in Lamaze class. But my ultimate challenge is trying not to look at myself in that mirror-window on the side of Accinno Hall. I’m vain and I admit it. Or maybe I’m masochistic—because it’s not like I enjoy the sight of myself. Trudging up the hardest part of the hill, I have the posture of Quasimodo and the squint of someone, well, who’s climbing Guzman Hill with burning thighs and the sun in their eyes. But I succumb every time, and every time I notice that I’m not the only Quasimodo catching a glimpse. What’s the matter with us? Don’t we know what we look like? Alas, until the glass shatters at our glamour-less Guzman faces, I’ll  probably continue to check myself out on the way up.—Maryclaire Dugre ’10

Better Late Than Never. It’s about time I got the hang of the whole Providence College course scheduling thing. This semester, I took advantage of the ability to change my courses after I’d begun in order to find myself a weekly schedule that allows me to enjoy my courses, eat lunch every day, sleep in just enough, and get out in time to do my homework and maybe even have some sort of a social life. On top of that, all my classes interest me and so far keep me just busy enough. Too bad I figured it all out just in time for the last semester of college…but hey, whatever. I’ll just count my blessings for now.—Ben Perry ’10

You Can’t Fool Me, Mr. President. Due to a looming $1.35 trillion deficit this year alone, President Barack Obama has proposed a “spending freeze” on regular departmental expenditures, not including national defense, Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security. The issue is the vast majority of government spending is brought on by those three entitlement programs. In addition, last year the president already drastically increased the budget of multiple government programs. For example, in 2009 the president increased the budget of the EPA by 35 percent. Instead of reducing spending, Obama is actually locking in already-increased budgets! In essence, he is deviously giving the appearance of fiscal responsibility when in actuality, he is spending more than ever. A clever tactic to fool the American taxpayer!—Joe Sirianni ’10

Holden on to J.D. Last week America lost one of its greatest authors ever: J.D. Salinger, the famed reclusive author of The Catcher in the Rye, a literary staple of all high school English classes. This novel has long held its position as one of my top three favorite novels of all time. Since Salinger’s death, The Catcher in the Rye has soared to the top of Amazon’s and Barnes and Noble’s “Best Sellers” lists. I am glad that a whole new audience or those who have not read the novel in a long time are picking it up again. Salinger was known to be the biggest defender of his novels, including resisting an offer by Steven Spielberg to turn his novel into a movie. I hope that with his death people will respect his wishes and not ruin this novel by writing “sequels” (as one author tried to do but was successfully sued by Salinger) or by turning his words into an hour and a half popcorn flick. Let’s honor his memory by enjoying his novel the way he intended: by reading it.—Andy Kowal ’10